In the last few years, my three kids got married, and even though most of the wedding planning was done by the young couples themselves, it still took an emotional, physical and financial toll on me.
Any milestone event in your life – even if it is a positive one- can leave you drained. And even though the actual ceremonies and receptions were lovely, I have few memories because my mind was in a fog almost the entire time.
So when my niece – my sister’s daughter - got married recently I was thrilled and excited and enjoyed myself immensely. As I told my friends, the fact is, you can enjoy the weddings of close family members more so than your own children’s.
When it’s your child’s wedding, you tend to be so busy greeting everyone and worrying that everything will go smoothly that you forget to enjoy yourself. While accepting your guests’ congratulations and good wishes, your mind is on the caterer, the florist, the orchestra, the wedding favors – hoping everyone will do their job properly and everything will go smoothly. I have spoken to so many mothers and fathers of the bride and groom and almost all mentioned how they were so grateful that they have videos and photos of the wedding, because, as they freely admit, “We don’t remember a thing.”
When it is your sibling’s child getting married, you are close enough to be happy and excited - but none of the headache of seeing to the details – or the bills – is yours! You are part of the “inner circle” but none of the responsibilities of putting the wedding together is yours. As an aunt or uncle you may be part of the wedding party, you may be asked for your advice and input on say, the food or music, but you get to sleep at night. So cheers to my nieces and nephews!